"Be the Change You Want to See in the World" - Gandhi
Gandhi said to BE the change; not say, lecture, advise or even expect people to make the change because of you. Pressuring people to change before they mentally are ready will never work, and they usually end up resenting you.
I think this is hard for most people, because as humans, we really DO want what is best for the people we care about. What is "best"? What WE think is best. What works for us. Where we found success. And this is where the problem lies. What is "best" or what works for one person, is not always what works for the next. Sometimes, people feel judged and criticized if you make a suggestion, offer advise or question their ways, especially if they are already uncertain about their decisions.
This is something that I struggle with personally, because as a doula, childbirth educator and yoga instructor, I have a lot of information, research and knowledge - plus all the health info I get from my chiropractic husband. As a mother of two, I do not think that I am better mother, but perhaps a more "seasoned" mother, having parenting experience for the past 4+ years. My many "jobs" involve me teaching, sharing, coaching and counseling - it's inherently in me! I love to help; Its hard for me to say no. I am a giver.
Maybe I give too much? Maybe I should wait for them to ask first? It is hard for me not to let my opinion slip, especially if the topic is on something I feel passionate about - like attached parenting, breastfeeding, chiropractic or nutrition.
I am inspired by the mothers that I know go confidently into their parenting journey. I learn from them everyday. Everything we do may not be exactly the same, but they are a resource, a sounding-board, a shoulder to lean on. I am already confident in my decisions, and being around these ladies builds my confidence even more.
I have made this resolution before, but I am setting my intentions again:
Be the Change.
Lead by Example - Quietly.
The Only Person You Can Change is Yourself.
Live Gently, Love Unconditionally.