9.10.2011

Do I really need all this stuff?

Go into any baby store to register and you will no doubt be given a looooong list of "must-haves" - things that any modern parent just simply "can not survive without!" (read sarcastically). I laugh at this! Obviously this list is written to scare first-time parents, and even some second- and third-time parents, into buying everything on the list, and keep the baby supply industry one of the biggest money-making businesses in the world. Most of the time parents end of spending money on items that they really don't need, take up too much space, are too expensive, and some they never even open. Unfortunately, that hard-earned money could have been spent more efficiently and the environment could have been saved from more waste.

In today's economy, many parents are trying to find ways to cut costs, but some still struggle with the thought "but the baby needs that!" Really? Does he? Or are you afraid that if you don't buy that item, you have failed as a parent to provide your baby with everything in the world. In the last few decades, the baby industry has exploded with every gadget in every pattern and color imaginable, and they have a very clever way of making parents competitive over what to have or not have. More legitimate questions are "Should I get this now or later?" Or, "Should we get the car seat that attaches to the stroller, but is only good for 30lbs, or get the car seat that is 6-50lbs, but we have to take the baby out to put in the stroller?" I agree, this can be confusing. My suggestion is to visit the baby stores often through out your pregnancy, talk with friends who have babies and get their opinions, and really think how you would use each item, and if you need it at all. Do you imagine using it all the time? Could you borrow something to see how you like it before buying one for yourself? How long could you put off buying something? But, in the end don't be too hard on yourself - everyone ends up buying something they really did not need or like!

When I was pregnant, I knew that there was alot of  things that we would not need and I tried to make thrifty and economically-sound decisions. With my husband being a full-time student and me only working part-time, we did not have alot of money and had to make every penny count! We had a small apartment, (and still do!) so space was limited. Below, I have outlined the typical list you will get at any baby supply store, and have added my own comments. I understand that everyone's situation is different. If you have the means to buy more things for your baby, or for yourself, that you really feel makes life more convenient, then please do so! Some people spend $1,000.00 on a stroller, some only $100.00. Personally, I would rather spend my money on an awesome trip to Europe, investing in a larger house, or saving for college then a house full of unused toys and products that the baby has no concept of anyways. Babies are like dogs - they don't care what they look like or what they play with, as long a you are there, you love them, and you are playing with them!

The Typical Baby Store "Must-Have" List - (I'm not kidding - I copied this is straight from the Babies'R'Us registry!)
  • Monitor - not needed if baby is sleeping in your room or co-sleeping.
  • Cabinet and Door Latches - not needed until baby is very mobile, about 1 year. Depending on how curious your baby is, you still may not need for awhile.
  • Safety Gates - not needed until baby is very mobile, or not at all depending on how your house it set up. We never had one.
  • Outlet covers - not needed until baby is crawling, about 6 months.
  • Travel Mirror - great idea, but not necessary. Just remember to keep your eyes on the road!
  • Breast Pump - not needed unless you plan on pumping/storing. You can also rent pumps, borrow pumps (just get new flange and tubes) and contact your local WIC office for free pumps.
  • Breast Pads - I prefer the cotton reusable ones. A one-time purchase saves money and the environment.
  • Nipple Cream - I love Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter. Can also be used on cuts and scraps and diaper rash.
  • Breast milk storage - only needed if you plan on pumping/storing.
  • Breastfeeding shawl - I used my sling alot for public breastfeeding, but most babies do NOT like their face being covered. Try a light receiving blanket - you'll get plenty of those!
  • Nursing Pillow - I LOVED my Boppy! A great investment.
  • Burping cloths - Use cloth diapers, old tee shirts, washcloths, etc.
  • 6-12 Cloth Diapers - See above (i don't know what they list these twice?)
  • 6 lap pads - what is this?
  • 6-8 Bottles for formula, juice or water - Bottles are not needed until you plan on pumping/storing. If you think you will pump for short outings, most pump sets come with two bottles anyways. Mine did, and I never bought bottles. And, I hope that by the time a baby will be drinking juice and water (instead of breast milk or formula), they will be drinking from a sippy cup!
  • Bottle warmer - ummm.....use a pot of hot water.
  • Bottle sterilizer - can't you just wash with hot soapy water?
  • Bottle Drying rack - can't you just use you regular dish drying rack?
  • Bottle brush - this is good to get.
  • Dishwasher caddy - why do you need this if your getting the sterilizer and drying rack? Pick one, or just hand-wash and save more money.
  • Insulated tote - most diaper bags have in insulated area built-in. Unless you plan on pumping at work and storing, this is not needed.
  • Feeder for strained food - loved this! Great idea - but a little messy.
  • 8-12 Bibs - wow! That's alot of bibs! You can just use an old hand towel or cloth diaper tucked into their shirt.
  • Pacifiers - maybe 1 or 2 in case your baby does prefer this over thumb-sucking. However, nursing for comfort instead of a pacifier is best for baby.
  • Baby Mittens - We rarely used these...maybe 2-3 times. You probably only need 1 pair.
  • Rattles - yes.
  • Teethers -you can just freeze a wet washcloth.
  • Parenting books - see my list of resources.
  • Nail Clippers - yes.
  • Brush and comb - yes.
  • Digital thermometer - yes.
  • Ear thermometer - why do you need both?
  • First Aid Kit - I would not buy a whole kit. Your baby is not going on a cross-country trek! The clippers, brush, thermometer, nasal aspirator and dropper are all you need. (and this Babies'R'Us registry did NOT list the aspirator or dropper!). Any other type of first aid supplies (band aids, neosporin, burn cream, etc.)you should have on hand and/or only use with a doctor's permission.
  • Humidifier/vaporizer - I would not buy until you need one, and even then you can borrow if really needed. We never used these.
  • Diaper pail/Diaper Genie - A regular trash pail can be used for dirty diapers as breastfed babies diapers do not stink!
  • Diaper pail refills - not needed. 
  • Baby Bathtub - Read my previous post on Bath Time and I explain how a bath sponge (only $5.00) is easier and cheaper then the Baby Spa ($30.00+), and how bathing with baby encourages breastfeeding and bonding.
  • Baby Bath Sponge - see above.
  • 4 Hooded Towels - yes.
  • 12 Washcloths - yes - but you probably do not need that many...you will be dong laundry!
  • Bath toys - not needed at first. 
  • Body Wash - For my baby shower, and even after, I got so much baby soap and lotions that they have lasted me 2 years! No need for fancy baby soap/shampoo, just use castille, glycerin or shea soap - very cheap and gentle!
  • Shampoo - see above.
  • Lotion - see above. Shea Butter works great
  • Baby Oil - this is not good for their skin - use coconut oil or nipple butter instead.
  • Alcohol swabs - why would a baby need this?
  • Cotton swabs - cotton rounds are better then cotton balls.  And, you probably have some already in the house. No need to buy any. As for Q-tips, get the Baby-Safe kind for ears. For other uses, regular Q-tips are fine.
  • Diaper ointment - again, you can use coconut oil to keep baby's skin from peeling, for cradle-cap and diaper rash. Nipple butter works great for diaper rash also. Read the post Breastfeeding As Medicine for FREE alternatives.
  • Petroleum jelly - not good for their skin.
  • Cotton balls - see above.
  • Diapers - you will have to decide if you will use cloth or disposable, but either way, this is a great registry gift.
  • Formula - not needed for the exclusively breastfed baby. Please see my many posts on why Breastfeeding is superior to formula, and this can save you thousands of dollars.
  • Baby Wipes - you can make your own. See my post: Baby Wipes, Naturally.
  • Travel wipes - Most diaper bags now come with a changing mat and pockets for diapers and wipes. Just stick some of your wipes in there or in a zip lock baggie - no need to spend money on a travel carrier.
  • Wipes warmer - call me a bad mother, but I think this is a huge waste of money and the baby will get over a cold wipe.
  •  Diaper bags (small & large) - get a large one - for the first year you will be carrying alot with you even for a short time out. Any kind of tote works well for a diaper bag.
  • Baby changing mat - see above.
  • Infant car seat/Convertible Car seat/Booster Seat - you will have to decide on what system you prefer.
  • Strap covers - not needed.
  • Neck Wings - not needed (unless you have a preemie, or your baby looks uncomfortable in the car seat). You can also use blankets.
  • Head support - see above.
  • Full-body support - see above.
  • Window Sunshade - these are great.
  • Car seat Toys - I like the kind that Velcro around the handle so you don't loose them, but not necessary. 
  • Additional infant car seat base - think about if you really need this. Even if baby will be picked up by another person, you can leave the car seat AND base so your don't have to have a second one.
  • Car seat undermat - why? Use a towel.
  • Infant car seat carrier cover - why?
  • Stroller: travel system, full-size, umbrella, jogging, convenience - You will have to decide what works best for you. We got one of those 3-in-1 strollers/car seats and loved it! Especially at the beginning when Nolan would fall asleep in his car seat, I could just pick it up, carry it in the house and he would never wake up! I still have never bought an umbrella stroller. I know some mothers love them because they are very light. I still use the original 3-in-1 stroller, since it holds up to 50 lbs. I like that it has a basket underneath to hold my bag and save my back!
  • Stroller toys - again, I like the Velcro ones, but not necessary. 
  • Stroller netting - I have one of these and never used it!
  • Weather shield - Not necessary.
  • Stroller blanket - why can't you use one of your many blankets that you will be getting?
  • Full-size swing - now why do you need a full-size swing and a travel swing? Just get one. The full-size is great, I had one, but certainly not necessary.
  • Travel swing - see above.
  • Jumper - these are actually not good for their developing hip joints.
  • Mobile walker - these are OK, but make sure their feet can touch the ground. Not good for the hips if their feet are dangling. Also, not necessary - we did not have one.
  • Stationary entertainment - what does this mean? The best entertainment is Mommy and Daddy!
  • Bouncer/rocker - nice to have. A swing and bouncer can be interchangeable - no need for both.
  • Baby Carrier - YES! A must-have, either a sling or soft carrier. You might choose to have more then one. Since they can be pricey, do your research and borrow to try out first before purchasing. Wearing Your Baby
  • Infant positioner - what is this? A Boppy works well to teach neck and back strength.
  • Play Yard/Travel Yard - I think they mean a Pak'N'Play. We chose not to have a crib, and we are so glad! Nolan's first "bed" was a Pak'N'Play and that was one of our best investments. He slept in the top part at first, and then eventually moved down to the bottom. I liked that it did not have hard rails, but was soft if he rolled against the edge. It had a changing table attached and a little basket for diapers. It was small enough to fit right next to our bed and was easy to get him out in the middle of the night to nurse. But a night, he mostly slept with us. It was just easier for nursing. Nolan is still co-sleeping with us at 2 years, and we won't buy a crib at this point. He will go right into a twin bed when ready, and that will be his bed for the next several years. I highly recommend getting one of these to start with and then only progressing to a crib/bed when your baby is ready for they own room. Even then, you can pick up gently used furniture to save money. Co-Sleeping.
  • 2-3 play yard sheets - Many of the Pak'N'Plays come with 1 sheet. Maybe one more is needed, but a total of 3-4 is not needed; you will be doing laundry.
  • Play yard netting - not needed, and why?
  • High Chair - Never got a highchair, we use a Bumbo instead and still do to this day.
  • Booster seat - see above.
  • Splat Mat - you can use an vinyl table cloth or old towels to save money.
  • High Chair Cover - line with a old towel instead.
  • Extra Highchair pad - why? just wash it.
  • Cradle/Bassinet/Portable crib - see above under Pak'N'Play.
  • Bedding set for above - see above.
  • 2-3 sheets for the above - see above.
  • Bassinet netting - why?
  • Crib - see above under Pak'N'Play. 
  • Changing Table - see above under Pak'N'Play. Also, you can use a dresser and get one of those foam toppers for changing, or borrow, or buy used.
  • Armoire - Nolan got a used dresser when he was about a year old. Before that, I just folded his clothes in a fabric-lined wicker basket, which is now used for his toys.
  • Dresser/chest of drawers - see above.
  • Glider/rocker - definitely great to have.
  • Ottoman - great for breastfeeding comfort.
  • Blanket chest - Not necessary, can be used for extra storage though.
  • Crib Mattress - see above on Pak'N'Play.
  • Cradle/bassinet/portable crib mattress - see above on Pak'N'Play.
  • 3 crib mattress pads - wow! 3??
  • Vinyl mattress cover - good idea if you go that route.
  • Crib Bedding Set - Might be more economical to buy things individually. Most items you will not need or will be dangerous to an infant (SIDS).You can always add onto the bedding set as they get older.
  • 4-6 fitted crib sheets - 4-6 is ALOT. You will not be changing sheets every day, and you will be dong laundry. 2 is plenty to rotate.
  • 4-6 blankets - I would not register except if there is a blanket that matches your set or you really love. People will give you more blankets then you can imagine without you even asking for them. I registered for two, and 4 receiving blankets and got about 9 blankets and 8 receiving blankets!!
  • 4-6 receiving blankets - see above.
  • 4-6 waterproof pads - 1 is fine.
  • 4-6 sheet savers -1 is fine.
  • Changing table pad - What is difference between a pad and a cover? Buy one water proof cover and your good.
  • 2-4 changing table covers - see above.
  • 2-4 baskets/storage bins - nice to keep diapers, wipes and baby care items organized.
  • Decor: wall hangings, switch plate covers, crib mobile, lamp, wall border, window valance, diaper stacker, rug, hamper...none of this is necessary. I know, I know - a baby's room is the cutest thing! And they are! Part of me wishes I had a nursery for Nolan, decorated with everything perfectly matching. But then I think, "He would never be in there. It would be a waste of money and space. When he is ready for is his own room, he won't be a baby, and he will want a cool "big boy" room. Then we can have fun decorating!" (see posts on Attached Parenting and Co-Sleeping for more info). If you plan on co-sleeping, like we do, this can save you a ton of money in the beginning.
  • Sleep positioner - what is this?
  • Crib Toys - a few.
  • Activity toys - yes.
  • Toy box - yes, or you can just use a basket, box or even a laundry basket to save money.
  • Baby gym - Nice, but not necessary. Try to pick up these kind of things second-hand, as babies grow out of them quickly.
  • Books - rent for free at the library.
  • Play Mat - See above under Baby Gym.
  • DVDs - Get an educational one like Baby Einstein or exercise one like Mom&Baby Yoga.
  • Cd's - classical or instrumental is very soothing, or download from iTunes, or burn a CD from a friend. 
  • Baby picture frames - not necessary, but nice.
  • Baby books - great idea to document baby's milestones.
  • Photo Album - yes!
  • Announcements - You can do free e-mail announcements via evite.
  • Thank you notes - same as above.
  • Camera - YES!!!!
  • Clothes: You can count on always getting plenty of clothes at a baby shower. People can't help themselves - the clothes are just too cute. You will probably continue to get clothes a baby grows - it's an easy gift for family and friends. Don't buy any - you will have plenty! I have rarely bought clothes for Nolan over the past 2 years! A clothing swap or consignment stores are great places to get gently used clothes for cheap.When you register, get sizes newborn - 12 months. That way you will have a good variety: Homecoming outfit, 9-12 bodysuits, 2-4 cap and booties sets, 4-6 side-snap shirts, 4-6 pull-over shirts, 6-8 stretch sleep'n'play, 3-6 cotton overalls, 3 gowns, socks.
  • 12-24 clothing hangers - not necessary unless you have an armoire or closet.
One thing that Babies'R'Us does not mention, but is great, is a swaddler. That is one thing that really helped calm down Nolan. You can also ask for gift certificates, which allow you to purchase exactly what you want when you need it. I am also surprised not to see more things for Mom on the registry, like labor support items, postpartum products and nursing bras and tanks. Remember to think about these items, too - Its not just about the baby!

I am very fortunate to have family and friends give us some wonderful things for our baby shower, but many items went unused. You can only use so many blankets. There are only so many clothes that baby can wear before they out-grow them. And other items will last you forever.

2 comments:

christine said...

I agree there are a lot of items that baby companies want us mamas to buy. Thinking that we won't be able to get a long with out them. I went through three different kinds of bottles before I found the kind that works best with breastfeeding babies. At first my daughter was breastfeeding just fine and then she started to prefer the bottle over me because it was easier. When I started to use the brestflow bottles she preferred me over the bottle. Yeah!

The Natural Mama said...

Yes, I think we all buy things that we end up not using or didn't for a very long time. We learn along the way. It just floors me though the amount of things that these stores list as "MUST HAVES" - if these are must haves, what are "nice-to-haves"???